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Woolly Mammoth Bones Are the Hottest New Alternative Investment Thanks to Joe Rogan

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Stocks, bonds, and NFTs are for broke boys. It’s time to diversify.

Bones are the hottest new investment class thanks to a self-proclaimed “boner” who appeared on the Joe Rogan podcast. 

Listen, I get it. You might have skipped the John Reeves JRE because you wanted to get to Dave’s appearance (or the controversial Bret Weinstein pod). But I suggest you do yourself a favor and go listen to it (after Dave’s… obviously).

This dude is a character. Stories for days. One of my favorites? The time he ate Woolly Mammoth. In case you’re still not grasping what kind of savage this man is, his response to Joe when asked if he had any apprehension about eating meat that could be 20,000 years old… he replied “Not after the first few drinks.”

Ok, I will stop man crushing.

Now onto the bones. This guy claims that there are a shitload of mammoth bones and tusks in NYC…

DailyMail – Speaking on the Joe Rogan podcast, the gold miner turned bone mogul John Reeves said he wanted to kick off a ‘bone rush’ and mapped out the location of tons of mammoth tusks that could be at the bottom of the East River. 

Reeves read from a draft report from the Fairbanks mining District Alaska, which detailed the transportation of thousands tusks from Fairbanks bound for New York City’s American Museum of Natural History in the 1940s.

‘They took 500,000 or so bones from Fairbanks to New York City, left them in the crates… they took about a whole box car load of these bones they ran out of storage and they dumped them in the East River.’

The report specifies that 100,000 of the bones were shipped directly to the museum, suggesting tens of thousands could have been tossed out. 

Reeves, who owns thousands of acres of mining grounds in Fairbanks, got a hold of the report from the company he bought, and also spoke to its lead author, Richard Osborne of the University of Alaska.

The report revealed the location of the dumping site at East River Drive and 65th Street.

Most importantly…

DailyMail – Wooly mammoth Tusks can go for around $20,000 each depending on their condition, putting the potential value at the bottom of the river at around tens of millions of dollars. 

Obviously we’ve got a bone rush on our hands. In fact, some of my colleagues tried their hands at getting rich quick this weekend (I can only imagine that there is some un-fucking-believable content inbound from Billy and Wonton Don if this is any indication).

And honestly, an emerging asset class is just what investors need right now. Stonks are down bad. Debt is getting pummeled. And crypto is, well, crypto. 

Baseball cards, rare whiskey, fine art have all become booming markets. But there’s one advantage that 20,000-year-old tusks have… they aren’t making any more Woolly Mammoths (well, unless, we do end up going full Jurassic Park).

Don’t say I never gave you anything.

Want more business and markets news? Follow me on Twitter for real time news and commentary (@JPMorinChase). I also write The Water Coolest, Barstool’s daily email business and markets newsletter. It hits your inbox at 6 AM and covers all the finance and markets stories you need to know. Join now or click below… 

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